So I'm happy to report that my life is actually not over and I am making smoothies without a Vitamix. Sure, I can't blend in ice or anything too crazy, but I'm making everything I need.
Here is the easiest and most basic smoothie possibly known to man while being so delicious at the same time...even though I forgot to take pictures of all the ingredients.
Ingredients needed (aka ingredients found in almost everyone's fridge):
1 c. original almond milk
1 1/2 c. spinach
1/4 c. 0% Greek yogurt
1 T. almond butter
1 T. hemp seeds
The result? Sweet and perfectly creamy. The best possible refreshing smoothie after a trail run in 90 degree heat.